Chris Van Scyoc

Why Bother?
The story is long-winded and prosaic, but the brief, shallow "Extra, Extra" version goes thusly: After some years stumbling about with various bands and musical projects, Chris and Aaron embarked upon independent but simultaneous pilgrimages to a remote monastery in Eureka, Montana to reflect upon their experiences and frustrations with the music business, and to explore meditatively alternative (but straight) lifestyles. Their fortuitous meeting during a workshop on existentialism (which trained in the art of sitting for long hours and sighing intermittently) led to friendly discussion of their mutual search for meaning in their music-infested lives. 'Twasn't long before they discovered their shared calling, one which would fulfill their potentials for contributing to the betterment of the world. They resolved to work together to pursue their sacred mission, once sanctioned by their fellow Eurekites, to help others, to advance the causes of justice, truth, and beauty,and to preserve for prosperity a world that their students and other people's children would be proud--nay honored--to inherit. By what moniker would they pursue such noble causes? What would be their chosen profession, best suited to meeting these worthy challenges? What else could it be but that of ROCK STAR? Step aside Sister Theresas, Jimmy Carters, Red Crosses, and all saints past and present. We bother because.......we care.
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Do you do drugs?
Yes indeed! Nicotine and caffeine are two choice standards for certain band members.
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Are you sure you locked the car door?
...
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Won't you be my neighbor?
UH?
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Are you sure you turned off the right-front burner on the stove before you left?

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DID I UNPLUG MY CURLING IRON?

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Will there ever be any point to this web site?
Doubtful.
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What is the recommended stroke -life of a common hairbrush?
It varies in proportion to the coarseness and volume of one's hair. Other factors to consider: average vigor of the stroke, incidence and number of overstrokes, and nature/frequency of motions superfluous to the fundamental stroke. A good rule of thumb: when stroking becomes painful, awkward, or labored, throw away hairbrush and begin anew.
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Why is leaving my residence a half-hour process?
You need help
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Why is my skin cracked and bleeding?
Scrub with mild soap and a soft washcloth, rather than lye and steel wool pads. You'll be just as clean.
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What do you do in your spare time?
Wait, the question uses both 'spare' and 'time'. Please translate.
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Why does Chris talk to himself when he's at the mixing console?
Because Aaron experiences difficulty uttering anything intelligent or relevant during the mixing process.
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When will your studio CD be released?
By Thanksgiving, 2002. Wait, make that by Christmas. They'll make great stocking stuffers! Hold on. We'll definitely have it mixed by the middle of February 2003. Well, let's say the end of March. Okay, it,s the middle of May and we're mixing the last two songs right now. We'll have the damn thing mixed by the end of tonight, and the CD will be in our grubby (not too grubby--we wash frequently) paws by July. Okay....August.
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How much wood does a woodchuck chuck if this woodchuck did chuck wood?
Ten
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Why "Jesus Christ and THE NAILERS?"
......
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Why do you say, "Jesus Christ and the Nailers!?!"
.....
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What do 'the nailers' have to do with Jesus?
.....
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What does OCD stand for?
Response 11-6-03: Over the Counter Drugs
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What does OCD stand for?
Response 4-06-03: O (Oh) C (see) D (the)
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